The eyes. They have such a mischievous sparkle. But not like an Edward Cullen sparkle. More like a “whatever kind of trouble could be get into in the next five minutes” variety. Jensen eyes do a whole lot of talking. One glance and you’re unbuttoning, unzipping and undressing before he can even say a word. His eye sexing skills are off the charts.
Take it off, baby. A shirtless Jensen has multiple uses: Laudry service center, his abs allow you to wash all your delicates like the thigh high stockings and crotchless panties. His abs serve and as an ideal eating surface. Who wouldn’t want to eat some Ben and Jerry’s off that? A gorgeous canvas for you to write poems and prose on with your tongue. A place to use your lips to convey his loveliness.
He will make you laugh. Sure it’s one thing to be really really really ridiculously good looking. But to be funnytoo? That’s a cherry on top. He’s the dude who would do the Axl Rose crab dance and wail the words to Sweet Child O’ Mine because he wants you to laugh. Oh and he does a killer Dead or Alive.
Superior muscular build. All the better to throw you around and get nice and rough. He can hold you down and make you suffer in the best kind of way. So get out the tarp and baby oil, you’re gonna be having some fun.
He’s Dean Winchester. Not Jensen Ackles, no - Dean Winchester. He can make us laugh. He has that clever, smartass, quirky sense of humor that makes you laugh til you cry every single fucking time. Don’t believe me? Watch this. This.And this.
He drives a muscle car. A motherfucking black 67’ Chevy Impala. He also loves old school rock music. AC/DC, Bon Jovi, Metallica, Mötorhead. He has amazing taste in music, and women too. But just imagine it, he’s driving you down some deserted road in God knows what part of America he’s supposed to be now. Listening to rock, when he suddenly stops and takes you in the back seat while blasting Bon Jovi’s Living On A Prayer. I know I just jizzed my pants.
No one rocks a weapon like Dean Winchester. NO ONE. Guns, wooden stakes, axes, knifes, shotguns. You name it, he has it. And let’s not forget those muscles. He has those big, strong, arms that you just want to hold and squeeze and bite and nibble and… Yeah, you catch my drift. And when he gets all mad and fierce he emanates this raw, hot, sexual tension that makes you want to say TAKE ME RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW YOU SEXY BEAST. And I know you ALL want a piece of that.
He’s fucked an angel. OH THE HORROR. But seriously, you’ve never heard of anything like it. I don’t think anyone has the power to fuck an angel but Dean Winchester. Hmm… Dean Winchester, I like saying his name. Rolls off the tongue nicely eh? Just imagine yourself wrapped between those strong arms and going ‘Oh DEAN.’ Aroused yet? No? Look at that then. Yeah, you’re jealous of her, admit it. I was.